Death Note Crackfic: Ch 7.1

Bleach, Ho!

The DN Gang were on their merry way to Canada, after the horrific incident at the wildlife park.

Light: *grumbling* Stupid Naruto characters...can't stay in their own stupid show...

Mikami: Chill out, dawg...It ain't too bad.

Light: *still grumbling* What's next? We're going to go through a toll booth run by BLEACH people? *pulls up*

Ichigo Kurosaki: Good morning, sir, that'll be $2...Hey!! You're Light Yagami from Death Note! Everybody! It's the Death Note people!

Random Soul Reapers: HEYYYOOMFGNOWAYYROFLMAOZOMGJDSKLFASJKFSAH123456789!

Light: *facepalm*

Not long after that, the DN Gang had crossed the border into Canada, ready for a whole two weeks of maple-syrupy fun.

Light: So, uhm, here we are. Let's go get some gas first.

Byakuya Kuchiki: Yeah, sir, that'll be $5.50.

Light: WHY will you Bleach people not leave us alone?!?!?

Vegeta: Hey, Byakuya, these guys giving you trouble?

Italy/Veneziano: Byakuya, why don't-a I make you some pasta?

Pikachu: Pika pika.

Light: &*(NGVSKJLHKNHDSKJ*(!!!!!!

After being harrassed by characters from various anime, Light and the DN Gang hurriedly went off to their first destination to escape their fellow anime brethren at the gas station...especially Byakuya Kuchiki whom I already dislike after being a Bleach fan for only, like, five seconds. *punches Byakuya*

Byakuya: =.= You suck.

*stabs Byakuya* Talk to the zanpakuto, bitch. Anyway, as Light and the others walked happily through the city sightseeing, our dear little M-Dawg had gotten lost in the crowd.

Mikami: Dayummm...Where the hell's everybody at?

Byakuya: Hey. You there. Over here.

Mikami: You again, dawg? I thought the authoress killed you with yo Shinigami sword?

Byakuya: Well...yeah...but she decided to revive me again for some reason. So, yeah. Come with me.

Mikami: Look man, I can't trust you...

Byakuya: I have waffles.

Mikami: You ain't gon' fool me with that, dawg. I went to law school, fool.

Byakuya: I have hoes with mega junk.

Mikami: Yo mamma's so stupid, she went to the dentist to get bluetooth.

Byakuya: Yo mamma's so fat, she's so fat.

Mikami: ...Well played, dawg. Show me where it's at.

So, Mikami followed Byakuya to a mysterious, dark alley where a bunch of other Bleach people were waiting.

Mikami: Hey...Weren't you that ginger at the toll booth?

Ichigo: Well...er...yeah.

Mikami: So...what do you Bleach people want from me?

Byakuya: I'm going to make you the deal of a lifetime...

Vegeta: OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!

Byakuya: VEGETA?! What the hell are you doing here?! Can't you see the sign?! *points to sign*

Sign: FOR BLEACH PEOPLE ONLY.

All characters from other anime and/or series will be turned into waffles and raped viciously by Hollows and subsequently eaten by randomers.

Mikami: O.o *pushes plate of waffles away* I KNEW I tasted a Bulbasaur in there somewhere.

Vegeta: W-well, what's THIS guy doing here? Isn't he Mikami from Death Note?

Ichigo: I...er...no...*takes Mikami's glasses*

Renji Abarai: Th-this is Rukia! One of our Soul Reapers!

Vegeta: Then...why does she have such a deep man voice? And huge man muscles? And a freaking PENIS?!

Hitsugaya: Erm...because she had a sex change! She's RUKI-O, now, isn't that right?

Real Rukia: Wh-what?! But I'm right over here!

Ichigo: *shoves Mikami's glasses on her face* And this would be Uryuu, the annoying Quincy boy! He...er...also had a sex change! And he's bipolar!

Vegeta: Hmm...I'm getting quite suspicious of you newbies...We DBZ people have been around for way longer than you guys, and we can tell when something's not right...I'll let you off this time...*leaves*

Bleach Characters: *collective sigh*

Byakuya: Alright. Anyway, here's the deal. *whispers into Mikami's ear*

Mikami: *evil grin* I like the way you think, homie dawg.

*Meanwhile, back with the DN Gang...*

Light: Hmm...I'm PRETTY SURE we were supposed to take a left turn at that last street...

BB: =.= No shit, Light.

Rem: How do you think it explains how we're in freaking FLORIDA?!

Light: It's because of Mikami! HE had the map, so he should have been there to- Hey...uh...guys? Where's Mikami?

Near: Hmm...*looks around* He's gone! We lost him!

Matsuda: I-I-I was going to tell you but you guys tied me to the top of the van!

Ryuk: Because we didn't want you exploding all over us while Mello was singing karaoke!

Mello: WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE YAGAMI!

Matsuda: Bullshit. *explodes*

Light: Anyway, guys, HOW COULD WE NOT NOTICE THAT MIKAMI'S GONE?!?

Rem: Then we have to go find him!!

What will become of Mikami? What do Byakuya and the other Bleach people have in store for our homie dawg? Will Matsuda ever stop exploding whenever Mello sings? Find out in the next installment! *kills Byakuya with chainsaw*

Byakuya: X.x